I’m once again coaching Maddux’s flag football team and while I’ve been extremely fortunate to play second fiddle to several head coaches who really know the game in ways that I never will, I can provide lots of value on the mental side of being a developing athlete.
With just a couple practices under our belt, we had our first scrimmage on Saturday and while the other coaches had talked X’s and O’s with the players, my message was simple, and familiar.
I challenged them to do 3 things:
- Play as hard as they can
- Support their teammates
- Expect adversity and be mentally prepared to overcome it
First, as kids get older (this team is all 5th and 6th graders), expecting them to give maximum effort at all times is totally appropriate.
Whether on the line blocking, staying with a receiver defensively for his entire route, or chasing down the ball carrier, going full tilt on every play was our challenge to them and we talked about this goal both at practice and pre-game. They were excellent in this area on Saturday!
Next, supporting each other by being outstanding teammates is about much more than celebrating after a touchdown or an awesome flag-pull. It’s about communicating with each other before, during, and after each play. It’s about constructively and kindly giving feedback after a teammate makes a mistake, rather than getting angry or frustrated. It’s about lifting a buddy up when he might be getting down on himself.
We’ve all seen the players (and coaches, unfortunately), whose reaction to physical and mental mistakes is to pile on with words of discouragement or negative energy. No human makes a mistake on purpose, and when a kid drops a ball that hit him in the hands, misses an easy flag pull, or gets beat on a block…they already feel bad about it. Â
Of course they wanted to succeed, and not succeeding doesn’t feel good. But when the reaction from teammates and coaches is “COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??!?” or “ARE YOU KIDDING ME…CATCH THE BALL!!” that energy just further brings everyone down.
Half our team this year has never played organized football before and not only was I extremely proud of their effort on Saturday, I was equally as proud of our veteran players who went out of their way to support the new players when they lined up the wrong spot or didn’t understand their assignment at first. The team mojo was outstanding, but not because of luck. As a coaching staff, we talked about expectations in practice and before the game and were 100% prepared to hold kids accountable if we saw or heard any behavior from players that was counterproductive to the team’s goals.
And lastly, by acknowledging in advance that we expect there to be mistakes and adversity during the game we accomplished 2 crucial goals.
First, we let the kids know that mistakes are ok and are simply part of the game. This is true from flag to the NFL. When players know that they will be supported by the coaching staff no matter what and aren’t expected to be perfect, they play with confidence and without fear. They are free from stress and anxiety, and then perform better as a result of being in that type of environment.
Players who know they will get yelled at or punished when they make mistakes play tight, scared, and tentative.
Secondly, every team faces adversity in every game. The other team scores. We get a penalty called on us in a key moment. There’s a referee call we disagree with. Adversity in every game is a guarantee. How a team responds is what’s unknown.
So, we talked about this in practice. I told them that at some point on Saturday, something wasn’t going to go our way. Unavoidable. How we respond is what starts to separate bad teams from good teams, and good teams from great teams.
And then as expected, it happened. We scored a few times to start the game and looked like we’d be cruising to easy win. But then we threw an interception and the other team broke a 60 yard run for a touchdown where we missed multiple opportunities to pull the flag.
After a sequence like that, many players and teams start to fall apart. They start to get angry at each other, they start to point fingers and assign blame, they start to panic. We’ve all seen that happen in youth sports time and time again.
On the other hand, teams that practice and prepare for adversity always handle it better. So after the momentum momentarily shifted, we called timeout and I told the kids, “like we talked about in practice, we knew this was going to happen and here’s our chance to show how mentally tough we can be. Here’s our chance to forget about the interception and touchdown and focus our energy and effort on this next possession because guys, I promise that the difference between winning and losing in big games almost always comes down to which team handles situations like this the best.”
And they responded. No finger pointing. No slumped shoulders. No feeling sorry for themselves. They went back to the line of scrimmage like it was the first possession of the game and the score was 0-0…and promptly put together a great drive, scoring again.
None of that was an accident. We spent time acknowledging that something at some point wouldn’t go our way and then talked about how we would respond not if that happened, but when.
These strategies lead to success in every sport, at every level.
It works if you’re coaching 11U girls soccer, like my wife is.
It works if you’re coaching Varsity High School lacrosse, like my wife is.
It works if you’re coaching 7th grade boys basketball, like I will be again this winter.
It works in flag football.
And it works in Little League, and beyond.
Being successful in games is about so much more than physical preparation, talent, and execution. Win the “controllables” and the results on the scoreboard will speak for themselves.
PLAY HARD, HAVE FUN!